I appreciate it. You can follow me on Twitter here. Man lets speak real. Man to man. I love your blog. I love your style of writing and you are presenting some helpful and thought provoking ideas. All with nice dose of inspiration. Salute for that! But this is ridiculous… Man do you know what is considered good conversion for salesletter for cold traffic and approaching women you dont know is equivalent of cold traffic.
Only reason I write this is because I love your blog but man you are killing your reputation with lunacy like that. I dont care how masculine, alpha, muscular, socially savvy, charismatic or whatever you are or anybody else 5 of 10 wont cut it. Exceptions are fame and White man in some remote village in Southeast Asia. In case of approaching women that would be easy.
Prove me wrong. Yep prove me wrong. You can put that footage on youtube and show the whole world how it is done. You would skyrocket your blog with marketing prop like that. And I am not kidding by the way. Man I enjoy your writing and wish you all the best but you just cant be taken seriously with fantasy statements like that. Hey Haz thanks for the feedback perhaps I worded that poorly.
Hope that makes sense and sorry for the confusion. So also there is screening that takes place before this. Not just 10 random women anywhere in the world at any time. Again appreciate the honest feedback. Man I appreciate that you have taken critique without malice because I really like your writing style and your insights are in almost all cases to the point.
But in light of your response I will chime some more things to think about you as well as your readers. You can think of it as litmus test. Your whole being, ego, character is put on the line. Every fear that you didnt know you have will show its ugly head. Every excuse you couldnt think before will sound like words of God. In moment of cold approaching you are confronting your deepest fears as well as societal programming in its core.
Without approval from the rest of the housemates, Papa invited Tyler Durden to move into Project Hollywood. Style saw Stylemogging as a symptom of a larger problem within the community: Men were becoming robotic pickup clones who were obsessed with the game. They developed no real interests or hobbies outside the community, and, as a result, they had no real substance beneath the rote pickup lines and routines. In The Game, PUAs actually suffered as a result of their constant reliance on pickup lines and strategies.
The irony was that the purpose of the techniques were to make men appear interesting, but their obsession with the game prevented them from being interesting, which was the most effective way of attracting women. Ultimately, he had to toss his lines and routines out the window and be himself in order to win Lisa over. So much of the game was artificial —the scripted routines, the peacocking outfits, even the aliases— but mastering the game had helped Style develop the inner confidence to be himself.
Style could now graduate from the community. Though originally enchanted by the PUA lifestyle, Neil Strauss eventually discovered in The Game that the PUA lifestyle was making it harder to truly connect with women on a deeper level. Here's what you'll find in our full The Game summary :. Carrie has been reading and writing for as long as she can remember, and has always been open to reading anything put in front of her.
She wrote her first short story at the age of six, about a lost dog who meets animal friends on his journey home. Surprisingly, it was never picked up by any major publishers, but did spark her passion for books. She especially loves literary fiction, historical fiction, and social, cultural, and historical nonfiction that gets into the weeds of daily life. Your email address will not be published. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
But in fact, there are certain advantages to meeting girls in the gym for a socially savvy man , not the least of which is the fact that most of those guys who are working out so hard there are doing so because they have no idea how to get women.
So there's not actually as much competition as you think. And in certain ways, even the environment itself can work to your benefit. In this post, we'll take a close look at the dos and don'ts of gym pickup, along with the how-tos for opening and game at the gym. The gym has a number of big differences from, say, a bar, or a nightclub, or the street as a place to pick up girls , and depending on where you're at with your skill set various of these may be intimidating or not-so-intimidating:.
It can end up seeming like a kind of tantalizing forbidden fruit: there they are, legions or a select few, depending on the demographics of your gym of beautiful, shapely nymphs, training their bodies into sleek representations of feminine perfection. You go out in the U. But the gym? An oasis. Thin women with hard bodies everywhere. The way women were meant to be and still are, minus some of the muscle mass, in most of the rest of the world.
Usually these are the bigger guys They know it's not their place. But the bigger guys figure, hey, this is MY home!
But women aren't any more closed to the approach in a gym than they are in any other venue. In fact, compared to a lot of place, women in gyms can be a lot MORE open to meeting new men! So long as those new men are breaking with stereotype, that is. Just like pickup in general is all about turning women's expectations on their head, gym pickup is no different.
And what's a girl expect will happen when she gets approached in the gym? An overconfident meathead who'll start talking to her and call attention to how skilled he is at weight-lifting and how impressive his muscles are. An overly helpful trainer or fellow gym mate who'll pitch in to try and "show her the right way to do this one" or give her a spot when she really doesn't need one.
An overly hesitant fellow - whether burly meathead or skinny gym newbie - who timidly trips over his own feet quietly whispering out a half-hearted opener that she has to pretend she didn't hear so as not to be bothered "Thanks, earbuds!
Basically, she expects some guy who'll be really awkward. Some guy who's bragging and trying to impress women he meets; some guy who's trying too hard to be of use see: " Can I Help You?
These are the stereotypes you're going up against, and they are what you do not want to be. In a nutshell, your entire gym pickup approach should be structured around making it blindingly clear to the girls you meet that you are not any of these three guys.
It's how you set them instantly at ease, and arouse their curiosity to find out more about you. She's expecting a guy's going to pull one of these awkward situations out of his pants on his approach.
And all you got to do to surprise and impress her is not do that. Some years back I participated on a seduction forum where some young kid who was trying to learn how to meet girls at the gym got himself first warned, then permanently banned from his gym by repeatedly, and very, very obviously , approaching woman after woman after woman there, and doing it awkwardly and uncomfortably for the women and getting complained about.
I don't think the kid even worked out there, I think he went there just to pick up. Now, I've only ever heard of this happening once out of all the times I've seen guys do gym pickup, so it isn't a likely scenario you'll run into, but it is one I want to highlight: we'll talk about this more in a moment, but the gym is a primarily social circle environment , which means you cannot approach it like the street or a nightclub; it's not a meet market where you can just go walk straight up to women and not be noticed, like you would in day game or beach pickup.
Everyone notices you approaching in the gym if you're obvious about it. Unless you go about making yourself "The Man" at the gym and we'll talk about this below too , you must be subtle, and you must be smooth. Those are the two options for handling your approach and still being cool with your fellow gym members:. By and large though, just don't go flooding the women at your gym with incessant and obvious pickup attempts, and do actually go there to work out some and not just to treat it like a party, like that kid did , and you'll be fine.
We've already covered some of the overarching don'ts and we touched on a smattering of the dos, but now we'll delve into a lot more of the specifics on both sides of the equation. Let's start with some gym pickup don'ts. When you want to meet girls at the gym, don't :. It's obvious; she knows you're doing it. And unless you're extraordinarily good-looking, it's going to ruin your chances before you even say "hi.
You know, the one where you keep meaning to say something to her, but she keeps slipping away before you can, so you just keep moving over to the bench or machine next to her She isn't blind.
And most women are a lot more socially attuned than most men, which means if you think there might be kind of a sort of little chance she might notice it, it's almost certainly glaringly obvious to you. Stalking is cute if you're a puppy dog, but it's not very cute if you're a big sweaty stranger she's never spoken to before.
Spot unless she asks. Ah, the old "spot her" trick, eh? Think you'll just casually slide in there with that one unnoticed? Think again. Girls know what this is - it's the timid man's attempt to swing in and get to know her. One exception: if you are extraordinarily dominant ; if you're the kind of man who can walk up to her and say, "Here, I'll spot you," as if you noticed her struggling and of course you should offer her some help, and it feels like more of a command from an authority figure than a kind offering from a peer, then this can work.
Water fountain ambush. The water fountain ambush is where you either A lie in wait for her at the water fountain, pretending to be unwinding after a workout or loudly talking to one of your friends, or B follow her to the water fountain, and try and pounce on her conversationally between sips.
This one's very obvious too , and you're not doing yourself any favors by using it Which is to say, maybe nice as a friend, but not the kind of guy she's looking to date or go to bed with. Awkward form advice. Correcting her on her form is one that can be good, if used properly - we'll discuss below.
But if you can't execute it right , don't do it. That means, no timidity: "Hey, I think you might be doing that wrong;" no hesitancy: "Do you want some help with that exercise? This one probably goes without saying, but you never know. Talk about the gym a lot. So let's say you just met some cute girl by the ellipticals, and now the two of you are chatting - and she seems to like you! What's the most natural thing to talk about? For most guys, they're going to talk about the gym, of course.
Don't do this! She'll exit the conversation quickly. If you've tried meeting girls at the gym before, you're probably guilty of at least one or two of them So there's a good chance you just read the don'ts of gym pickup and thought to yourself, "Man, that was everything I had in my arsenal!
What now?! Well before I cause ye who've entered here to abandon all hope, let me re-fit your seduction skill slots with a host of emphatic dos. The dos of picking up a girl at the gym are as follows:. Be a regular. Being in the gym regularly e. You can play around with going at different times of day if you're trying to combine working out with picking up - you'll often find that the afternoon is the best time to go to meet girls at the gym in college, while the evening is the best time to go to meet girls in the working world.
Get to know the staff. Actually chat with the staff at your gym - the girls at the counter, the guys doing training. The manager, if he's out and about. Just a few words here and there to get started, "How's it going? Remember, there's no rush.
It builds your social status at the gym and provides you social proof not to mention preselection , if you get in with any attractive female staffers , and. It gets you familiar with "gym people," gets you comfortable talking with folks about working out, gym etiquette, gym humor, and all manner of related topics, so you start behaving like an expert ; the gym becomes your home away from home, just like it's theirs , and this environmental comfort and ease is very noticeable and attractive to women in the environment effectively, they feel like they are in your environment when talking to you once you're visibly very comfortable and natural.
Be authoritative, cool, or both. Most guys in the gym, despite their muscles, do not act like they're " alpha males " at all. I've never quite been able to figure out why; although I've long suspected they fear coming across too strong with a girl, so they head in the opposite extreme.
And it's true, you don't want to be so strong you're overwhelming to her, but you also don't want to be so meek you come across nervous and hesitant. Women who want to meet men in the gym go there to meet strong men, remember, not weaklings. So when you engage, make sure you do so with an air of confidence, dominance, and authority about you Stay focused. Don't let your eyes wander Even if a girl likes you, the instant she notices you checking her out, she'll stop checking you out and start playing hard to get.
Instead, keep your eyes to yourself ; stay focused, don't check her out
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